Becoming a mom has been such a humbling experience. When I was modeling, I found it hard to make friends with people outside of the industry. Most people didn’t understand the industry and what I did, so it was just easier to stick with the people who did. Although I’ve always been outgoing and easy to get along with, I found myself becoming more and more of an introvert as the years went on. I always enjoyed my alone time and traveling alone, and it just got worse as time went on.
Now being a mom, I make friends so easily. Some of my closest friends now are people who, 3 years ago, I could have never related with or would have never even tried. Regardless of anything else we’ve got going on in our lives, we’ve got babies and were kinda freaking out right now. All that other petty stuff goes out the window, and you instantly relate to each other because of your little one.
I go to parks all the time and randomly start chatting up a mom. I learn so much about these women so quickly because we’re all so open, understanding and want to share advice and stories (well, most woman at least). It’s so easy to start a conversation about their kid or vice versa. Lucy is always so happy, outgoing and constantly making friends. Even random people on the bus will stop to say hi and ask us a few questions! Sometimes I feel like I’m with a celebrity when I’m with Lucy because she’s so darn cute and attracts so much attention.
We made so many friends in the first few months during our Mommy and Me classes and swim classes. Now we hang out with a few different groups of girls almost weekly and have really gotten to know them all so well. It’s such a beautiful thing watching their babies grow up along side Lucy. It’s also so cute to see the way they react when seeing each other, because they’re starting to really remember each other. It’s adorable how close some of them have become. I hope some of them will stay life long friends.
Having mom friends has been great so far. Both Lucy and I have really benefited from having so many close friends. But not every mom can be your friend. The moment we all dread has to come as some point: Your kid becomes friends with someone and you absolutely HATE their mom. What do you do?
Hey, you’re not obligated to get along with everyone. And that especially goes for other moms. Yes, we want to set a good example for our kids. But being nice and talking mad crap about them later to your husband while they overhear, isn’t ideal either.
You certainly can’t forbid your kid from seeing that kid, just because their mom sucks. And you absolutely never want to be the one who looks like the ass. So naturally you suck it up, bite your tongue, and you hope that she does the same. There’s really nothing left to do but hope and pray they find a new bestie quick! If that’s not the case, just be sure to drink a lot of wine before any obligatory confrontations and always keep it classy. If she really sucks that much, she’ll be the one to look like a fool. Whether it be the way they raise their brat kid, or just because they plain suck, you have to be the bigger person and play nice, for your kid. (It’s part of adulting. Or so I’m told.)
In the end, I guess we can just hope that all the amazing, encouraging, and uplifting moms you meet out weigh the [hopefully] few sucky ones you come across. Just take pride in knowing you’ve got an awesome mama tribe behind you, cause your awesome. Make all the mom friends you can. We need to stick together and learn from each other with love and support. Keeping a relationship with all of your past friends is important, but so is making new mom friends you can relate to and confide in.
Some of the best ways I have met my new friends have been simply going out to classes and events. There are plenty of places in the city (and most cities!) with music classes, art classes, rhyme times and story time, and even swim or gymnastic class! (Keep and eye out for my post coming with all the different classes to do with your baby in San Francisco!) If you don’t have access to as many wonderful classes, social media is a great start to put yourself out there. Find a mom group in your area on Facebook or follow and message some local moms you admire and would love to get to know. It’s important to have a strong support group, so get out there and start creating yours!
How has making friends changed for you since becoming a mom? Do you find it easier to make new friends now? Have you hated one of your kids moms yet, and how did you handle it? (Or still handling it?!) I love hearing from you! Like, comment and share!