Choosing Your OB/Midwife

This is an important one. It is super important to like your doctor or midwife and be on the same page with everything. When I got pregnant, I was on new insurance and in a new network, so I hadn’t found my specific doctors yet. I struggled from day one with my OB and couldn’t ever find a way to truly communicate and be 100% comfortable with everything. Luckily, we had a couple nurses who we became close with, which really helped the situation, but not liking my doctor the entire pregnancy was tough on me.

Don’t get me wrong, she was a sweet woman who was very smart and educated, but we just had different styles of communication. On the other hand, my husband loved her. She was very blunt and matter of fact, which he appreciates. Where I tend to appreciate the more laid back and easy going attitude. I always felt like my questions were never fully answered, my ideas and thoughts were never taken seriously and my birth plan was never really discussed in full detail. Honestly, up until the day I went into labor, I had no idea what our plan was or what our delivery was going to look like. It was very frustrating.

One plus, which actually started as a negative, was that I was on high risk. It was due to some kidney issues I was having and some previous health problems. Being told I was getting put on high risk was scary at first, but in the end it ended up being a good thing. It really just meant I got extra care and twice the ultrasounds (and who doesn’t like that!). I know girls who only get one or two ultrasounds their entire pregnancy. I got 7. I also got to find out the sex of our baby earlier because of a kidney ultrasound I had to get done. Lucy was healthy the entire pregnancy and we never had any problems, except when she was so rambunctious that she got her heart rate up too high for the doctors liking. Even then, all we had to do was go to the hospital to get hooked up to a couple machines for an hour and be monitored. Still, it was scary and not something I wanted to experience again. It turns out her concerning heart rate was just due to her kicking around so much. Still to this day she is a kicker! Crazy girl.

The way I was sent to the hospital that day could have went smoother if we could communicate better. Even though she was telling me not to be too worried, I could tell she was concerned about something. She was very vague and short with me, which ended up making me feel more worried and confused.

I ended up bringing a notebook with me to our appointments from then on. I would talk with my husband the night before my appointments and write down questions I wanted to ask and concerns I was having. It really helped me sort out my thoughts and get down to the real important stuff. It helped us communicate better and made me feel better about each appointment. I’m sure she was somewhat annoyed at first when I pulled out my little hedgehog notebook, but she quickly realized how much better and effective our communication got. Which saved her time and me tears. It’s a good practice to get into and I still do it with Lucy’s appointments.

Obviously everything went good during the delivery and we welcomed a very healthy and lively little girl but the road getting there was a bit bumpy. I would certainly do things differently next time around. (But I suppose a lot of first time moms could say the same.) I guess the moral of the story is, do your homework and find an OB or midwife you trust and can communicate properly with. If you find after several weeks you’re just not clicking, look for a new doctor. I wish I would have but I let my guilt get in the way. Looking back, I realize that feeling guilty for wanting a new OB was silly. It was nothing personal against her, we just had different styles. Which can sometimes be a good thing.

Now moving forward, I have a new OB whom I love and trust and look forward to our next pregnancy along side with her. I feel more confident that things will be better planned and understood between everyone and that’s a good start. I don’t think everything will ever be perfect during pregnancy and labor but choosing the right team for you and baby is the first step to ensuring a happy and healthy delivery.



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